Posted by Ryan If I get a really good cup of coffee, I like to just go "you know what, just hang on a second, this is a fantastic cup of coffee..." I will stop and make that moment... you will enjoy life more if you do that! The importance of stopping to smell the coffee There was an article in The Age today about Napier Quarter cafe in Fitzroy, Melbourne banning takeaway coffee. Initially prompted by the environmental impact of takeaway coffee cups, the owner has said that the motivation for the ban goes much further. He says: "Everyone has time to sit down and have a coffee... We are taking our references from classic European and Lygon street in the 1950s. Taking that time, to not compromise to having a moment to yourself every day. I think it is really important in that day and age instead of facilitating this really wasteful takeaway culture. Everyone thinks they are so much busier, but they are not. You can certainly make time to sit down and have a coffee." I don't know about you, but I really love this. Also prompted by environmental concerns, in the last couple of years I've been choosing to more often sit down for a few minutes at a cafe to have a coffee, rather than getting it on the fly. While my main motivation was initially about reducing coffee cup waste, I've come to really appreciate the opportunity to stop, even if only for a few minutes, press the pause button, and actually just enjoy the coffee and the experience. In the field of positive psychology, there's actually a term for this. It's called "savouring": "noticing and appreciating the positive aspects of life". Research shows that proactively practicing savouring on a regular basis promotes happiness and enhanced wellbeing. The Black Dog Institute has some useful savouring tips here. But even more than that, there's something powerful in simply inserting some pause points during the day -- moments simply to stop and slow down. When I read the article in The Age, it reminded me of something the great 20th century philosopher Jerry Seinfeld had said when on Enough Rope with Andrew Denton back in the early 2000s (check out the clip below): "If I get a really good cup of coffee, I like to just go 'you know what, just hang on a second, this is a fantastic cup of coffee...' I will stop and make that moment... you will enjoy life more if you do that!" So take the time every now and then to stop, make a moment, smell the coffee, and savour the experience -- and save the planet while you're at it! Taking the first step can be scary, but change has to start somewhere. For a confidential chat about getting started with psychology sessions, contact us at 0431 136 523 (Sydney) or 0410 843 679 (Melbourne), or email us at info@be-psychology.com.au. You can also send us a message via the 'Contact' page.
Posted by David Getting the most out of therapy - Part 3 Welcome to the third instalment of 'How to get the most out of therapy'. If you missed Parts 1 & 2, check them out here and here. Subscribe to our Facebook page to get notified when the next instalments in this blog miniseries are published. How to get the most out of therapy: (3) Having Support Having someone else in your corner is really important. Try to reach out to someone in your life, maybe a friend or a family member, and let them know a little about what you're going through. I've seen many situations where this has been an absolute turning point in someone's recovery, and a light for many people when they've been in very dark places. Getting some support on creating and cementing change also makes it more likely to happen. Maybe that someone can motivate you to face something scary, try something bold, keep you on track, or just be there when you need a cheerleader, or a shoulder to lean on. We can be strong on our own, but we're stronger together. Feel free to get in touch with us for a confidential chat about getting started with psychology sessions. For Sydney enquiries call 0431 136 523, and for Melbourne enquiries call 0410 843 679. You can also email us at info@be-psychology.com.au, or send us a message via the 'Contact' page.
Posted by David Getting the most out of therapy - Part 2 Welcome to the second instalment of 'How to get the most out of therapy'. If you missed Part 1, check it out here. Subscribe to our Facebook page to get notified when the next instalments in this blog miniseries are published. How to get the most out of therapy: (2) Be Active in Making Change Between Sessions What happens in sessions is important, but equally important is what happens between sessions. Most of the time your therapist will use what is discussed in sessions to craft activities (“homework”, gasp!). These activities will help you make the changes you want in your life. Research is clear that the more of these activities people try, the more change they experience. Sessions are like staging grounds. They are safe places to rally, talk about the issues, and make a plan of action. After the session is over, you then head out into the world to courageously face your challenges. The more you're able to try new ways of facing your challenges, the more likely you'll be to develop ways of overcoming them. Taking the first step can be scary, but change has to start somewhere. For a confidential chat about getting started with psychology sessions, contact us at 0431 136 523 (Sydney) or 0410 843 679 (Melbourne), or email us at info@be-psychology.com.au. You can also send us a message via the 'Contact' page.
Posted by David Getting the most out of therapy - Part 1 We know from decades of research that psychological treatment is helpful for many people. Whether that be feeling more emotionally stable, less anxious, having better relationships, achieving goals, or coping with life changes, most people see improvements. But let's face it, change is hard. And therapy is all about change. Once therapy starts there are a number of things that will help increase the chance you’ll experience positive change. Drawing on clinical research, as well as my own personal experience as a clinical psychologist, over a miniseries of blog posts I'll outline just a few of the things that are useful to keep in mind to make sure you get the most out of therapy at Be Psychology & Mental Health, and beyond. Subscribe to our Facebook page to get notified when the next instalments in this blog miniseries are published. How to get the most out of therapy: (1) Have Open Communication One of the most important parts of therapy is your relationship with your therapist. Some of the most reliable factors in positive change are: Being able to communicate what your problems and goals are, feeling understood by your therapist, and agreeing on how you'll go about making change. Psychologists are experts in how people generally think, feel, and behave. You are the expert in your personal experience and your own world though. When we combine these things together we get better outcomes. Giving feedback about what is useful, and what isn't, is really important too. The more you can share with your therapist about yourself, and your thoughts about what happens in therapy, the better. The next post in this miniseries will be out soon. Subscribe to our Facebook page to stay updated! Taking the first step can be scary, but change has to start somewhere. For a confidential chat about getting started with psychology sessions, contact us at 0431 136 523 (Sydney) or 0410 843 679 (Melbourne), or email us at info@be-psychology.com.au. You can also send us a message via the 'Contact' page.
Posted by Ryan I must admit that there was something compelling about the royal wedding. Like Kate marrying Wills, and Mary marrying Crown Prince Frederik of Denmark, Meghan's wedding to Harry was literally the stuff of fairytales! And we all know that fairytales end with "happily ever after." I love a good love story, but are those good love stories we like to read about and see in movies realistic love stories? Let's be honest,"happily ever after" is usually not as simple as it sounds. I think most people would probably agree that the hard truth is that relationships are not without their challenges. I've recently finished reading Alain de Botton's book The Course of Love. It's a love story, but not as we know it. de Botton sets out to tell a story about what love is really like. He notes that our ideas about love, and indeed our expectations about what a marriage or committed relationship should be like, are often shaped by the illustrations of love that we encounter in art and literature--usually depictions of exciting experiences of courtship and romance. But what comes after those heady early days of love? That part of things often gets left out of the narrative of love. Indeed, although the fairytales end with "happily ever after", they don't offer much in the way of just what that "happily ever after" looks like. Similarly, de Botton points out that couples are often asked, 'so how did you two meet?" but are seldom asked, "what is it like to have been married for a while?" Larry David asks someone about their marriage! In his review of the book, Simon Caterson (Sydney Morning Herald) wrote: "According to Alain de Botton, we are still labouring under a Romantic delusion when we expect to enter a perfect, everlasting union of body and soul with another person who will find the same in us. He contends that falling in love is just the start of the journey, far from the end. We can be Romantic in privileging love but also realistic and show patience, forbearance and, perhaps hardest of all, forgiveness. The fact that love hurts is the proof it exists. The lesson the book teaches is that a true understanding of our own flaws, strengths, dignity and vulnerabilities, as well as those of our life partner and/or co-parent, is necessary if we are to stay the course of love. "We should look for ways to accommodate ourselves as gently and kindly as we can to the awkward realities of living alongside another fallen creature," de Botton counsels." So The Course of Love is a love story which is a rather unexciting tale of a perfectly average marriage, but it normalises for us the challenges inherent in relationships, and reminds us that love is so much more than just the "start" of love. Love can be complex, although at times simple too, it shifts and evolves and unfolds, and at times may feel banal or even painful. And being reminded of this, seeing something familiar reflected back to us in this tale of Kirsten and Rabih and their normal marriage, I think allows us to think deeply about and consider how we can have better, more connected, and more enjoyable relationships, and to find more happiness and fulfilment as we travel along the course of love in our own lives. If you'd like help navigating the course of love in your own life, contact us at 0431 136 523 (Sydney) or 0410 843 679 (Melbourne), or email us at info@be-psychology.com.au. You can also send us a message via the 'Contact' page.
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AuthorBe Psychology & Mental Health is an expert clinical psychology practice with locations in Sydney and Melbourne, Australia. Archives
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